You can’t outsource this part

Dear Reader,

“Can’t you just tell me what job would make sense for me?”

It’s rare that someone asks me that directly, but it’s often implied in emails and messages I get from PhDs.

And I totally get why someone would think I can do that, and why they’d want me to.

You want the right answer.

You want the expert to point and say, “That one. Do that.”

(Me too, bro.)

A pattern in my own life is wanting to find The Answer to my career.

And I keep relearning the same lesson: Clarity that comes from outside you doesn’t last.

Advice can feel good in the moment. Decision made, spiralling stopped.

Well, for a minute or a day or a week.

After that, you’re back to uncertainty. Back to “I’m stuck.”

—

I was talking with a PhD friend earlier this week.

She’s having a great year so far, she said.

Interesting paid projects in the pipe. Exciting conversations. Cool things to look forward to. Awesome.

And then a few minutes later, the jump scare of “I’m still applying to jobs.”

Say what? She’s looking for an “anchor gig,” she said—her term for a role with a job title, built-in colleagues, and stable (W-2-type) income.

Now, those are all reasonable things.

But I witnessed her whole energy shift when she started talking about it.

And because we’ve known each other for a while, I felt comfortable being a bit pointy.

“Weren’t you already a tenured professor? Didn’t you already decide that wasn’t for you? You left that behind over a decade ago.”

Circumstances can change, and one might revisit priorities you previously rejected as unimportant. Sure.

In this case, though, I wondered what was actually up.

She already has colleagues and collaborators, ones she picks herself, one project at a time.

She can give herself whatever job title she wants as a business owner, and describe herself in whatever other meaningful ways she wants, depending on her interlocutor.

When it comes to money, I totally get it.

But what she needs is enough of it, enough of the time, not necessarily the same amount every couple of weeks.

Eh?

—

This is what I see so often with PhDs.

You aim for the things you think you want instead of reflecting on what’s actually important to you now.

Maybe you assume you need

an employer-bestowed job title to impress people at networking events,
a linear career trajectory (“the next step to grow my career”),
a stable job, with defined benefits and predictable pay.

And, again, those can be very cool, and I’m not knocking them.

But what my friend actually needed was to recognize that the narrative of success she’s holding on to no longer meshes with what’s she’s doing when she’s “lighting up a room, drawing strangers toward me” (her words).

You are allowed to come to a very different conclusion about your own needs and wants.

That’s actually the point.

Nobody can tell you what’s important to you, though they might have some pointed questions to help clarify your thinking.

And then, it’s up to you.

It’s on you to

develop a clearer sense of your priorities,
give yourself permission to change your mind, and
reflect and test (take action) so you actually make progress.

And that is where someone like me can help, to provide you with

a process,
some structure, and
regular community check-ins and coaching, as well as
opportunities to deepen your insights and job search skills.

If you’re interested in this for yourself, ask me about my PhD Career Clarity Program.

—

If you’ve already left academia and are wondering why your “better” job still feels a bit off—that’s not failure.

If you’re still in academia and secretly dreaming of something different—that’s not betrayal.

If you’re employed and scrolling job boards out of curiosity, not panic—that’s not disloyalty.

It might just be that you know more about yourself (and the world) than you did before.

And now you want more. Or at least different.

As for my formerly tenured friend?

She realized her “anchor gig” narrative is at odds with who she is at her best.

That insight is giving her energy to lean further into project-based work and waste less time on job apps. Good, I say.

Where are you at?

I’d love to know if this resonates.

What’s Happening

The PhD Career Clarity Program is open for enrollment! Perfect for professors, postdocs, and other PhDs who are ready to leave academia and land meaningful jobs where they’ll feel valued and respected.
Free Wednesday co-working continues; sign up on my website.
Want more co-working? Sign up for Flow Club, where I’m a regular host. Use my link to get a free two-week trial.
Our Heated Rivalry discussion is in a few hours, starting at 7pm EST!
And if you’re testing JenBot for me and you haven’t given me feedback, I’d love that from you by Monday.

Cheers, and thanks for reading,

Jen

P.S. Want to explore working with me? Visit my Services page to learn about options, or reply to this email and let me know what you want my help with!

Jennifer Polk, PhD