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Network as an introvert without doing anything icky

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by

Jennifer Polk
in
Two women sitting across from each other at a small table, in conversion. There are large windows alongside them. They are inside a building on an upper floor on a bright day. This one-on-one meeting is an example of how to network as an introvert.

Are you an introvert? If so, you’ve probably wondered how you can network as an introvert without doing anything icky.

A lot of PhDs identify as introverts. I do! I am definitely introverted.

Introversion can be a strength in an academic environment, certainly while you’re in graduate school.

But then folks worry when they hear about all the networking you’re supposed to do to get a job outside academia.

Like, “no, I don’t want to and I’m bad at this and I don’t want to bother other people and whyyyyy.” 😩

I get it. I too was super nervous about asking folks to give me some of their time and energy. 😨

So hold up. We have three different issues here.

  1. Introversion
  2. Networking (let’s talk definitions)
  3. Asking for help

Let’s break these all down.

First, introversion suggests a preference for spending time alone or in small groups instead of larger gatherings, and needing a good amount of alone time to recharge.

Important note: Some introverts (and extroverts) are also shy and some also experience social anxiety; those are different from introversion. For example, I am not shy — though I very much was as a younger person — and I am not generally anxious in social situations.

Second, here’s how I define networking: Any activity that puts you in active conversation with members of your professional community, or a community you are interested in joining.

This means that networking is about relationship- and community-building. When you network you’re engaging with people who share your interests. If that sounds like potentially a lot of fun, yes, correct!

And part of the fun is being helpful, if and when you can.

That’s one reason why — and this is the third point — you don’t have to feel bad or icky about asking for help. People typically like to help, when something is in their wheelhouse and no big deal. (If it isn’t, they can let you know… or just ignore you. No biggie.)

Now, when you do an informational interview (the kind of networking you will want to when researching careers), you may not be in a position to be actively helpful to the other person. That’s okay.

But consider this: By asking questions and listening you actually are being helpful. Folks don’t typically have a chance to reflect on their careers and give advice to eager junior folks, and they like doing these things. It’s fun, it’s engaging, and it gives them an opportunity to be helpful. That’s a gift.

So if you’re telling yourself you can’t network because you’re an introvert, stop that right now. 🛑

Your introversion might suggest you’d do better in a 1:1 meeting over Zoom than a large networking event. That’s totally legit, and it has no bearing on your ability to network in general. (And if you’re job searching, that’s probably something you want to do!) You may have to pace things out so you don’t exhaust yourself — again, totally fine; do that — but you can still network.

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