Like many academics, I spent my young adult years postponing many of the small things that I knew would make me happy, including reading novels for pleasure, learning to cook, taking a photography class, and joining a gym. I would do all of these things when I had time—when I finished school, when I had a job, when I was awarded tenure, and so on. I was fortunate enough to realize that I would never have time unless I made the time. And then the rest of my life began.
Christopher Peterson, A Primer in Positive Psychology (New York: Oxford University Press, 2006), 22.
This paragraph appears in the context of an exercise Peterson assigns readers: to write an obituary for themselves. What would they want friends and loved ones to remember and celebrate? How would people summarize their achievements? What would be highlighted? At the end of it all, what mattered? (Peterson died unexpectedly last October. Here’s what three of his friends and colleagues wrote about him.)
Peterson’s description of postponing life in pursuit of academic achievement resonates with me. My own experience was slightly different. I did put some things off—I still do, gah!—but other things I did but then felt guilty for not being the academic superstar I might have been. (“I had so much potential!” I joked.) While some of my colleagues worked 12 hour days, presented at a dozen conferences (or more), and published articles and reviews, I focused on extracurricular activities. I sometimes felt like an academic loser, but sometimes could take solace in knowing that what I was doing mattered in other ways. So my realization, which came after many years of avoiding the issue head-on, was that now is the time to work toward my life goals, to enjoy myself, and to dedicate my days (as much as possible) to working out who I am and what I want. I’m no loser: I’m me, and trying to be the best me I can is a truly worthy pursuit. And I’ve got huge potential . . . in a very different way!
What’s your experience? How would you like to be remembered? Are you living true to your values and desires?
