Patience in the neutral zone

Early this month was the one-year anniversary of my dissertation defence: 3 February 2012. Thinking about how much time has passed since then can get me down. I’m still not settled into a job or even on a career! Although I’m generally feeling optimistic and am fairly certain good things will come my way, it isn’t easy. Like everyone else, I’m eager to skip the middle: skip the “figuring stuff out” stage and go straight to the “let’s do this!” stage. But patience, Jen, patience.

At times like these I remember I’m in the “neutral zone.” It’s a place apart from time and space (figuratively speaking) that only exists when we need it. William Bridges’s self-help classic, Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes (25th anniv. ed., 2004) makes this clear. In the pre-modern world, the transition—a psychological process as opposed to simply a change—was understood as a crucial part of life; not so nowadays. But to successfully navigate a transition, an individual has to experience an end, go through a period of nothingness or neutrality, and finally make a new beginning. No part of the process can be skipped or sped through. There are no shortcuts.

So we have to give ourselves a break, and be more accepting of friends and family who might themselves be in transition. If you don’t know where you’re headed, as I don’t, it’s not a personal failing. You’ll know when you know. And if you haven’t already, go read Bridges’s book. It’s fascinating and surprisingly rich, reflecting the author’s innate curiosity, his scholar’s mind, and his deep empathy. Oh, and if it helps any, Bridges can relate to being post-PhD or on the alt-ac track: He’s got an ivy league PhD and was an English professor until going through an important transition of his own. (PhDs are everwhere!)